Celebrating Regina Ronku at 30 and 10 Years of Friendship

2017 makes it 10 years since I met the beautiful and sweet Regina Ronku who is celebrating her birthday today so I decided to make my birthday wish a trip down memory lane.

Now that I think about it, I don’t remember the first day we met, but I’m almost certain it was courtesy of the late Retyit Longse Continue reading

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This Is What 31st December Means To Me

​It’s 20 years and yet I cry. I’m not hormonal so I know the tears have to be for him.

I left Anambra on the 31st of December 2016 heading back to Abuja. I took a bus at God Is Good Motors (GIGM) and in the vehicle a woman began to lead prayers. I was oddly comforted by her leadership and flowed with the prayers and songs that followed, but suddenly, I found myself gripped with intense emotion. I was weeping so much and the date hit me.

The dapper man who was my father; Mr Vongjen Rindap

Flashback

By this time last year I was full of thanks and hope. I felt much stronger. But today, which marks 20 years since his passing, I suddenly feel a deep sense of loss.

The Present

I wept and prayed fervently then I settled in for the ride which seemed like it was never going to end.

My mum wrote a post on Facebook, her first about my father, and my cousin’s comment… his comment opened the switch to my tears. He said;

“In our hearts your memory lingers, Sweetly tender, fond and true, Your gentle face and patient smile With sadness we recall You had a kindly word for each And died beloved by all. Your life was a blessing your memory a treasure… You are loved beyond words and missed beyond measure… A thousand times we needed you A thousand times we cried If love alone could have saved you you never would have died A heart of gold stopped beating two twinkling eyes closed to rest God broke our hearts to prove he only took the best never a day goes by that you’re not in my heart and my soul.”

I wasn’t able to read it all because it spoke a truth I wish the world new. A truth about who the man was and who he will always be to me. 

He’s still the most wonderful man I know and I pray he is resting in peace with the lord.

Baba, we miss you more than words could say, more than emotions could express, more than one could articulate.

Baba, we miss you like a child misses its mother, like a song without bass, like cake without sugar. 

Baba, I miss you. I miss you more than I’ll ever be able to say, more than I’ll ever accept and more than I’ll ever even know for everything and everyday reminds me of you and what life could have been with you in it. 

I loved you then and I love you now. 

Happy New Year :* 

Would You Buy An iPad For Your 2-Year-Old?

Child_with_Apple_iPadAs the title suggests, this post is to get your opinion after I say what I think on the matter, even though I don’t have any kids of my own.

One day, at work, my colleague mentioned that her 2-year-old broke his iPad mini. He threw it off the balcony of their second floor apartment and it broke. In my mind I’m like, ‘Err… what did you expect a toddler to do with a gadget, pet it?’ lol.
Continue reading

Started From The Bottom, Now We’re… Almost There

This has been in my drafts for almost two years (since April 1st, 2014) so I just had to get it out of there.

When one hears or comes across the sentence, ‘started from the bottom, now we’re here‘, your mind inevitably goes to Drake. He made this simple sentence famous with his hit single that projected and celebrated how far he’d come and also addressed his early life and career beginnings.

Disclaimer: I’m not looking for a pity party or anything of the sort by this post. Quite the opposite. I just realized that once a while it’s necessary to snuggle up in your most comfortable chair with a glass of red wine and flash back to what life used to be like before the present time.

started from the bottomI remember when my pocket money in secondary school used to be 500 Naira which is less than 5 dollars (believe it or not), but my mum always made sure I had my complete set (as we used to call it) of provisions. There was once a time that my mum, my sister and I would enter a bus from town and not afford to pay for more than one seat so I would sit on the engine and my mum would carry my sister or some good Samaritan would empathize and carry me.
There were lots of times we cooked food without meat in it and to us it was normal. There was once a time that taking coca cola was a treat we looked forward to. Lol
I’m thankful for where we are now as opposed to where we found ourselves several years ago. I’m thankful that were weren’t overwhelmed: we are only stronger for it. We aren’t there yet, but we sure are very close to where we were meant to be.

That’s it, as written 2 years ago. I realise some people might have had it worst than we did, I’ve heard some sad tales, but when you know how far God has brought you you’ve gotta give thanks.

Are you where you were last year or last five years? Give thanks for where you are and what you have.

Have a great new week!

Tips To Help With Bonding Between Parents and Infants

Raising a child, especially for a new couple, can be overwhelming. Your doctor says one thing, your mothers say another and your gut is leading you a certain way. What do you do?baby and daddy

Research is helpful. The chances are what has worked for other parents might work for you. Here are some family tips to help with bonding.

  1. Imitating your baby’s sounds and waiting for them to respond helps to tech them how to converse.
  2. Always face your child to the rear of the car when in their car seat until they are years old. Experts say this is the safest position for that age range. This isn’t commonly practiced here in Nigeria, but I see it in movies. Parents, do right by yourwarm baby wipes baby.
  3. If changing his diaper gets him cranky, try warming up the wipes so that your baby will be more agreeable. Imagine if it was you someone touched with that cold wipe. ‘brrrrr’
  4. Always respond to baby talk. This will encourage and enhance their language development and make it progress faster.
  5. If you rock a baby to sleep he will never learn to fall asleep on his own. Instead, put him in bed when he’s sleepy so he’ll be self-sufficient.
  6. Studies have shown that bouncing your baby in sync with the tempo of music playing can make them more compassionate later in life.
  7. Both parents (mum and dad) should make eye contact with the infant while sleeping to allow him get accustomed to both of them.

Helpful right? Thank me later, but make sure you add some tips so others can learn too.

Toodles!

Writing Because It’s December 31

As the day drew closer, I kept thinking about it. I thought and thought and thought about it, then I decided I wasn’t gonna write about it. It only takes so long for something to become cliché and I didn’t want that.
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Every year I think it’s gonna get better, it should feel better, but I’m reminded that it’s never not gonna hurt.
I saw my sister’s simple words on Facebook and the emotions tugged at my heart’s strings.
I said I wasn’t going to write, but here I am with tears in my eyes typing steadily on my phone.

We think of you always, we talk of you always and we will miss you always.

Experiencing death so early and almost regularly has caused me not to question why things happen, but to find a silver lining.
It’s hard to find a silver lining when you lose your father or your husband at a young age, but I have – I know that God’s got us. All will be well.
It’s with that thought and hope that I enter into 2016; a positive outlook. Things may not be right, but it’s okay because we’re gonna make it.
Keep resting in peace Baba (that’s what we call him) and dear Lord, see us through the rest of our days.

How She Came Back To Life

I was devastated when she died.

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And then I met her again. Yes, I did! Her smiles were still the same, there was something about her that pulled me to her. I was suddenly happy and then sad and nostalgic and then happy again. It felt good.

The name Retyit means, ‘Happiness’ and that’s exactly what you get when you meet Retyit. She was vivacious and full of life. Nothing could dampen her spirits, at least we thought so. Not until the very cold and cruel hand of death ripped her out of our lives…  But then I saw her again! Yes, I did. One day in church. It wasn’t about the features. It was more about how I felt when I saw her. I recognised her as the girl I’d known, and loved and lost.
She looked up into my eyes and I could tell it was the same spirit. Alas! Our friend wasn’t lost. She still lives on in the hearts of every happy person.
There are times I feel guilty that we started getting too busy towards the end to spend ample time together, but it didn’t subtract from what we had, not even for a second.

We all have our struggles in life, it’s okay to, but never let it kill your spirit otherwise you would have lost the battle even before the war.
Today I celebrate my friend, our friend. Even if life gets too hard for you to crack a smile, think of Retyit that died and the one that’s still alive and smile in their honour.

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Have a lovely weekend!
In loving memory of our friend, Retyit Longse. We love and miss you dearly

THE PURPLEDIVAA ❤