Unfair Expectations: A Major Cause Of Depressed/Wayward Youth

​Are You putting unfair expectations on your kids? You might be pushing them away when they need you most.

In life generally, there is an expected order of things. You are born, you grow up, go to school, get a job, get married then take care of your parents or take care of your family before getting married. In reality, life hardly ever plays out like that because as with drama, tragedy will always occur. It may come at the start, at the middle or at the end. One thing is sure, there will be hurdles you have to cross.

I’d like to believe we agree on that. If so, why then do we put unfair and unnecessary pressure on one another to be the perfect daughter/son, perfect wife/husband, perfect child or perfect worker as if life isn’t hard enough?

Let me tell you a story…  Continue reading

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What I Learned From Being Called ‘Selfish’

Did you know that every human being’s default setting is at ‘selfish’? That’s why it’s a huge deal when you meet someone that people consider selfless.

As Makcit, I’ve never thought I was a selfless human, but I was very sure I wasn’t selfish either. At least, not until I spoke to this new guy I met recently, the boyfriend material guy from my last post. You can job your memory here.

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YAKATA: How To Get Ready For Konga’s Black Friday Sales

Yakata refers to the collosal fall in prices of fantastic goods on the Konga website. I am and hace always been an advocate of the online mall because they have good items with very fair prices.

This year, Continue reading

Abuja International Film Festival: I was Starstruck Again!

For the second time in a short period, I found myself starstruck.

The first time was at Transcorp Hilton while this time around it happened at the very famous Silverbird Galleria in Abuja, FCT.

It was the last day of the 4-day long observation of the 13th Abuja International Film Festival.

Filmmakers from Mexico, China, Iran and of course, Nigeria, were present and if the event Director’s words are anything to go by, this is the best yet.

After the award ceremony, Segun Arinze suggested I attend the mixer. First off, it was to begin at 7 and by 5:00pm, I was still in town, but like magic my mum gave me her car (I had to pay for fuel though. Smh) and so I cruised into the night at 8:00pm. I didn’t want to, but who can say no to a super star right? Well, it’s not like we are chums now, but I do see that happening in my future… Anyway, I went realised I was way out of my elements. I mean, this is my scene and all, but I realised it wasn’t my scene almost immediately. Here’s why…

I’m timid. I don’t care what people say, I am and it was made worse because I didn’t know anyone. You don’t go for social events, especially in Abuja, on your own. You just shouldn’t.

I didn’t know the Nigerian actors/filmmakers. This is the first and probably only time I regret not watching Nigerian movies.

I saw a face and in my mind I’m like “hey! It’s that guy…” I don’t know his name or remember any movie I’ve seen him in.

I saw Bianca, or was it Regina Askia… One lady with hazel eyes… Help me with her name please. *covers eyes*. I saw Fred Amata, very fair, I saw Stanley from ‘After The Storm‘… (I forget his surname now) Yes! Paul Obazele, but most important on the list of ‘People I Met’ was STEVE GUKAS.

For those who don’t know me, I’m a very proud Tarok Girl, but I’m also very proud of my state, Plateau, and so anyone from there is good people and Mr Gukas is one of such.

Gukas directed the much talked about 93 Days, the true story of selflessness displayed by a Nigerians (Doctors and nurses) in preventing the spread of the fatal Ebola Disease some two years ago.

It was like meeting a real like famous person and I was so stoked by how easy it is to meet ‘celebs’ in Abuja. I should definitely go out more. Enjoy the photos.

Toodles :*

Quotation Marks: Do You Place A Period Before Or After?

thinking deeply primateI love English Language and I happen to be a tad obsessive. Put them together and I can’t let little uncertainties go. I find languages, especially English, quite fascinating to say the least, but for some it’s all a bore and being able to use the right tenses is the best they are willing to achieve. For me it’s much more than that. I love it when I am writing in my head (I do that a lot) and Google a word or phrase whose usage I’m not sure of to see if my use of the word was correct. The internet is another thing that fascinates me, but that’s a tale for another day. Today, while I was writing a post for work (I am a content developer for the Multimedia Unit of a radio station in Abuja, Kapital FM) I got to a point where I used quotation marks and a period came after the phrase. The dilemma was;

Should a period come before or after a quotation mark?

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Gender Dysphoria: 5-Year-Old Boy Returns To School As A Girl

Nigerian boy in school uniformImagine you got an email from your child’s school requesting that you be kind enough to respect a 5-year-old’s view.
What would be your first thought if the headmaster or mistress was asking that your daughter’s classmate would like to be referred to as a girl and not a boy henceforth? Continue reading

Can’t Stand Me: How I Hated Hearing Myself

I’m a long way from where I used to be, thankfully. I used to be shy, at least that’s what I always assumed. I used to be scared, I always thought I was fat (even when I wasn’t although now I kind of am) and I used to detest hearing my voice even though I always wanted to sing like Beyoncé Knowles.

Born in the 80’s and growing up in the 90’s, I didn’t have many avenues to record myself so I would just belt out tunes as I danced to them and I pretty much didn’t care how I sounded in reality.

When I was 17 years old, the year I graduated from secondary school, (high school to some of you) I joined my local church band aka choir because of my love for music and my dream of singing. This was when I learned how to play the bass guitar (totally rad right? Hehehe) and also where and when I remember hearing my voice for the first time.

I cringed the first 100 times I heard my voice and I probably still do.
When given the microphone to sing, the fear of hearing myself would cause me to sing very low, without confidence. That was then. Now I can stand hearing myself as long as I’m the only one listening at that moment.
With lots of practice and self love I’ve gotten over most of the awkwardness.
I work in a radio station and every now and then I voice stuff so hearing myself takes me unawares sometimes, but now I’d say my voice and I are able to see eye to eye and I’m proud of myself.

Written in response to the Daily Prompt on ‘Can’t Stand Me’