Online Dating: The Good, The Bad, and the very Odd

It’s been a while and I do apologize for not keeping you updated. A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks which I shall tell at a later date, but today is dedicated to the distinct personalities I’ve encountered on my quest for a white mate in the online dating world.

The responses I get when I mention this quest of mine are divided between those for and those against who think I’m either a joker or operating in an alternate universe. Thing is, I don’t give a…. Fudge! 😁

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Following my first rejection I decided to actively search for what I want. I’d flirt with some, Continue reading


At What Point Is Divorce Okay?

divorce-Marriage certificateI’ve had one or two Muslim friends ask me about divorce in the Christian doctrine. When you explain that a woman cannot leave her husband because of the vow she made to “have and to hold… till death do us part”, not everyone gets it.

It’s almost impractical to say you can’t get out of a sad or traumatic situation, but that’s my religion and I respect it.

Now, I want to talk more realistically.
I listened to Pastor Matthew Ashimolowo on The Udy Factor, an AIT Programme, and the discussion got round to divorce and what he thinks about it. I don’t remember his words verbatim, but what I took away from his submission was;

  1. Marriage is a covenant between two people.
  2. When the marriage is based on a lie then the covenant has already broken.
  3. Continue reading

Love, Heartbreaks and Failed Relationships

Some things just never get old and love is one of them. The love that existed decades ago is the same love existing now so If you think the way you feel about someone is new then guess again.

Another thing that never gets old, even though it should, is heartbreak.
The definition of heartbreak which I like is simply ‘Overwhelming Distress’. Wow! Quite apt I’d say. blue heart break
The heartache due to a heartbreak can be from a romantic relationship or even a platonic one. It could be from some family issues or even abstract causes, but nonetheless, the feelings associated with a heartbreak are so intense you may feel it won’t ever end.

My heart is broken. I’ve been here before, but the feeling is new each time and for every time it comes I tell myself, ‘This will be the last time I feel this way‘ but does myself listen to me? Noooo.
My heart is broken. I don’t understand how one minute you care about someone and the next you probably don’t. Is that even possible? I don’t think so, but I always feel so.

I’ve always thought it grossly unfair to share unverified feelings for someone with the person only to realise something could make you want to leave. What happens when the someone returns the feelings? A vacuum, a gaping hole in someone’s heart, is created.

Love should be unconditional, but sadly we don’t get it. The reason why relationships, marriages and friendships fail is because we don’t want to work on our shortcomings.

The best relationship isn’t one without problems, but one where the problems are tackled

I’m prone to rash decisions and I feel like making one. Leaving my mother’s house, throwing caution to the wind and doing the things I told myself I shouldn’t do, but will it fill the gaping hole? Will it?

Love and Marriage

She was a young girl growing up in the country. She didn’t know so much about life out in the city, but she knew she wasn’t cut our for the country life. She wasn’t sure how life was gonna be, but she willed it to be better than what she saw.
Papi came along one Christmas season and their eyes met across the dance square. She’d never really been into boys, not because she liked girls (no way), but because she didn’t have time for them. They weren’t so much of a novelty, after growing up with several brothers and countless male cousins around, but he seemed different. He was intelligent and had prospects (at least that’s what my cousin would always say)…..

We got married and we didn’t have anything besides the bedsheet on our bed and the clothes in our bags. The house came furnished and luckily there was a mattress too. I have 3 cooking pots including a frying pan and a couple of plates. We were so broke we couldn’t even afford a transistor radio…

To be continued



Random Musings Part 2

I haven’t written anything in a while and it isn’t for a lack of something to right about, but more of a lack of motivation.
I’ve been low for a while now. I’m beginning to think I may be bipolar, but I’m not sure my case is that extreme.
I love activity. I’m the sort of gal who would want to go visit a friend, but the moment I’m there I’ll start thinking of the next thing to do or the next place to be. Especially if there is no activity in my current location. I know this single example can be used to analyze my whole existence, which I’ve done, but I will not go there today. Today is about me trying to find out what’s wrong.
First of all, I know I’m not worried about money. I don’t have anything I particularly need so money can wait.
I’m getting tired of seeing some faces every day. The way to take care of that is by;
1. Getting a job
2. Getting a job far away from this place
3. Get married.
There is no husband at the moment so there goes number 3 down the drain. My next plan would then be to find a job which I’m doing now with renewed fervor.
Ah! I almost forgot another option. My most desired option;
4. Go for my masters thousands of miles away. :-D.
This is where there is a need for money. My dream would be to school in the UK, but that seems near impossible due to the bucket-load of money required for it. So my sights are on SA for now.
I’ve been here too many times not to recognize the signs, but I’m gonna keep mute so you can find a word for it.