What I Learned From Being Called ‘Selfish’

Did you know that every human being’s default setting is at ‘selfish’? That’s why it’s a huge deal when you meet someone that people consider selfless.

As Makcit, I’ve never thought I was a selfless human, but I was very sure I wasn’t selfish either. At least, not until I spoke to this new guy I met recently, the boyfriend material guy from my last post. You can job your memory here.

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Online Dating: The Good, The Bad, and the very Odd

It’s been a while and I do apologize for not keeping you updated. A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks which I shall tell at a later date, but today is dedicated to the distinct personalities I’ve encountered on my quest for a white mate in the online dating world.

The responses I get when I mention this quest of mine are divided between those for and those against who think I’m either a joker or operating in an alternate universe. Thing is, I don’t give a…. Fudge! 😁

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Following my first rejection I decided to actively search for what I want. I’d flirt with some, Continue reading

Online Dating: The 3 Things You Should NOT Be Doing

There was once a time when online dating was for loosers and perverts, but that time is long gone. Statistics show that there is a growing number of first time online daters as well as returning users and marriages resulting from online dating sites.

According to the PewResearch Centre, “5% of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their significant other online” so it can’t be bad right?

Don't do it

Source: My Dating Hangovers

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Online Dating… In Search Of A Mate 

​”Follow your dreams. I am not saying it’s going to be easy, but I am saying it’s going to be worth it.” – Moffat Machingura

I just recorded my first rejection in my online dating quest. I must admit, it hurts a lot than I would have thought.

I recently joined this site (which I absolutely love so far) and the first thing I did after completing my profile was to start flirting. Don’t worry, it’s not as scandalous as it sounds. A flirt is just like ‘liking’ on instagram (the icon is a heart) it’s just a way of showing interest in someone. I like it, but I have one problem with it which I’ll come back to later. 

So after joining the site a few days ago, I received my first ‘Sorry, I’m not interested’ and even if I don’t know the person, it stung, but I guess I appreciate the fact that he didn’t just ignore the flirt. Good right?

Back to my problem with the flirt… I read a lot of bios and some stood out more than others for different reasons – I could relate to certain aspects of a person without liking the total package either because they are young or not into Africans, but how do I ‘Like’ your hobby or compliment your music sense without sending a flirt? You see where I’m going right?

Nonetheless, I still love the site, interracialdating.com, and I intend to subscribe so I can send messages as well as see who has viewed me. Yay!

Why I’m Doing It

I renewed my quest for a white mate when I chatted with the lovely Gazelle Abraham who encouraged me so much, and then I did a Google search and came across the aforementioned site and so far, I have no regrets.

Online dating isn’t necessarily easier than dating I’m real life , but it’s just an alternative that pays off for some and if the advice from successful users of the site is anything to go by, all you need is to be truthful and patient. The rest will happen when and if it’s meant to be.

“Leaving what feels secure behind and following the beckoning of our hearts doesn’t always end as we expect or hope. We may even fail. But here’s the payoff: it can also be amazing and wonderful and immensely satisfying.” – Steve Goodier

I’m very hopeful and my confidence is increasing by the day so no ‘sorry, I’m not interested’ will deter me from my journey to find the perfect mate. :*

Toodles

Playing The Field

I used to think that certain things in life were for losers and seeing as I do not consider myself one, you wouldn’t catch me doing any of them.
Over the years I’ve found that my best matches, as per friendships, come from virtual acquaintances; I’d meet someone online, we would begin communicating with the most innocent intentions and then a romance will be bloom. Due to the fact that it is an online thing, my scepticism gets the best of me sometimes and things just end even before they start.
For the most part of my life, I’ve always fantasised that my prince charming was either an actual prince, Prince William himself, some lonely soul from a foreign land or just some dude from another state- basically, I always felt like it wasn’t someone I already knew. This is why I’ve nursed thoughts of signing up on a dating site. I know how it sounds… This has to be tackiness personified right? I know and I agree, but it doesn’t change the fact that I have to put myself out there if I intend to snag a prince (note to self; Find out which dating site has the most Princes 😉 )

image

I’ve convinced myself that this will work because if I, a normal person, am seeking for something special on a dating site then it only stands to reason that a normal guy somewhere could be thinking the same thing right? Exactly! 😀
My experience so far hasn’t been promising though. It is at times like this that I want to just heed the voice in my head that tells me it’s alright to stay at home all day and watch movies till it’s time for church… But I always have to make a conscious effort to ignore that voice.
I’ve officially put myself out there to be scrutinised, objectified, criticised, passed over or chosen. If nothing good comes out of it, I’ll take it as fate. Although, me thinking that it may not work is bad in itself isn’t it?
Anyways, I will be updating you on my online ‘shenanigans’ and ‘experimentations’ so be prepared for it and please, drop some pointers for me as well. 😉
Have you ever put yourself out there hoping for something special? Did it happen? I could really do with some encouraging stories.
Thanks a bunch. 😘