Loving The Wrong Person So Right

I was walking back home from Blessed Plaza. The bike I flagged and climbed suddenly realised he didnโ€™t have change and so I had to dismount and continue by foot, but I was happy; heโ€™d taken me far enough that I could make the rest of the trip by foot.

dark_roseI was walking on the right side of the road, which happens to be the wrong side if you want to look at it the right way. The putrid stench of urine assailed my nostrils so I quickly crossed to the left side, which is the right side for pedestrians, and continued on my merry way.

 

Photo Credit:ย Petr Kratochvil

I suddenly remembered Isaac (real name), a guy I usually bump into in my hood, and I realised he must be thinking I am so full of it. You see, I was supposed to get back to him, because he’d tried keeping in touch, but I never did ๐Ÿ˜”. In my mind, I was already battling with trying not to call someone and I honestly didnโ€™t want to call this โ€˜someoneโ€™, but when I got out my 4 inch Silex phone, rather than call Isaac, my fingers seemed to have a mind of their own and they tapped 5-4-6; ‘someone’s’ name came up and I hit the dial button.

For the past couple of weeks Iโ€™ve been doing quite well; gradually cheering myself up and stepping out of the blues I’d found myself in, but last night something happened that may have caused my mind to delve into the deep darkness of paranoia.

I had a dream… 5-4-6 seemed to have taken a shine on someone else. I was gobsmacked and sad. How could he be doing this? Especially someone at my work place. I surprised myself and made a resolution to thwart all his plans, his attempts and moves (still in the dream). By the end of the dream, I was certain he still had the hots for me. *wide grin*

Almost immediately, I heard his voice from the other end and he sounded so upbeat- โ€˜Damn you 5-4-6 for sounding so alluringโ€™, but I was chirpy right back at him and trust me I sold it ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰ Only one problem though, I was overcome with curiosity… โ€˜Who are you with?โ€™

I donโ€™t particularly think any one person should know how much another cares for them, but I also advocate for honesty and wearing oneโ€™s heart on his sleeves โ€“ life is easier that way.
In this case, I know I am arming 5-4-6 with enough ammo to hurt me if he wanted to, but I know he wouldnโ€™t do it (he doesnโ€™t have the heart) and unsurprisingly, he is doing it even without trying.

*sigh*

I wish I didnโ€™t feel the way I do, but I am unsure of how I could change it. My friend, Milk (remember her?), has just said โ€˜I know 3-4-6 will break your heartโ€™ (not sure how though), but how do you break something that wasnโ€™t whole to begin with?

What do I do? How do you stop loving the wrong person right?

Love and Marriage

She was a young girl growing up in the country. She didn’t know so much about life out in the city, but she knew she wasn’t cut our for the country life. She wasn’t sure how life was gonna be, but she willed it to be better than what she saw.
Papi came along one Christmas season and their eyes met across the dance square. She’d never really been into boys, not because she liked girls (no way), but because she didn’t have time for them. They weren’t so much of a novelty, after growing up with several brothers and countless male cousins around, but he seemed different. He was intelligent and had prospects (at least that’s what my cousin would always say)…..
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We got married and we didn’t have anything besides the bedsheet on our bed and the clothes in our bags. The house came furnished and luckily there was a mattress too. I have 3 cooking pots including a frying pan and a couple of plates. We were so broke we couldn’t even afford a transistor radio…

To be continued

THE PURPLEDIVAA โค

Playing The Field

I used to think that certain things in life were for losers and seeing as I do not consider myself one, you wouldn’t catch me doing any of them.
Over the years I’ve found that my best matches, as per friendships, come from virtual acquaintances; I’d meet someone online, we would begin communicating with the most innocent intentions and then a romance will be bloom. Due to the fact that it is an online thing, my scepticism gets the best of me sometimes and things just end even before they start.
For the most part of my life, I’ve always fantasised that my prince charming was either an actual prince, Prince William himself, some lonely soul from a foreign land or just some dude from another state- basically, I always felt like it wasn’t someone I already knew. This is why I’ve nursed thoughts of signing up on a dating site. I know how it sounds… This has to be tackiness personified right? I know and I agree, but it doesn’t change the fact that I have to put myself out there if I intend to snag a prince (note to self; Find out which dating site has the most Princes ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

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I’ve convinced myself that this will work because if I, a normal person, am seeking for something special on a dating site then it only stands to reason that a normal guy somewhere could be thinking the same thing right? Exactly! ๐Ÿ˜€
My experience so far hasn’t been promising though. It is at times like this that I want to just heed the voice in my head that tells me it’s alright to stay at home all day and watch movies till it’s time for church… But I always have to make a conscious effort to ignore that voice.
I’ve officially put myself out there to be scrutinised, objectified, criticised, passed over or chosen. If nothing good comes out of it, I’ll take it as fate. Although, me thinking that it may not work is bad in itself isn’t it?
Anyways, I will be updating you on my online ‘shenanigans’ and ‘experimentations’ so be prepared for it and please, drop some pointers for me as well. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Have you ever put yourself out there hoping for something special? Did it happen? I could really do with some encouraging stories.
Thanks a bunch. 😘