I was walking back home from Blessed Plaza. The bike I flagged and climbed suddenly realised he didn’t have change and so I had to dismount and continue by foot, but I was happy; he’d taken me far enough that I could make the rest of the trip by foot.
I was walking on the right side of the road, which happens to be the wrong side if you want to look at it the right way. The putrid stench of urine assailed my nostrils so I quickly crossed to the left side, which is the right side for pedestrians, and continued on my merry way.
Photo Credit: Petr Kratochvil
I suddenly remembered Isaac (real name), a guy I usually bump into in my hood, and I realised he must be thinking I am so full of it. You see, I was supposed to get back to him, because he’d tried keeping in touch, but I never did 😔. In my mind, I was already battling with trying not to call someone and I honestly didn’t want to call this ‘someone’, but when I got out my 4 inch Silex phone, rather than call Isaac, my fingers seemed to have a mind of their own and they tapped 5-4-6; ‘someone’s’ name came up and I hit the dial button.
For the past couple of weeks I’ve been doing quite well; gradually cheering myself up and stepping out of the blues I’d found myself in, but last night something happened that may have caused my mind to delve into the deep darkness of paranoia.
I had a dream… 5-4-6 seemed to have taken a shine on someone else. I was gobsmacked and sad. How could he be doing this? Especially someone at my work place. I surprised myself and made a resolution to thwart all his plans, his attempts and moves (still in the dream). By the end of the dream, I was certain he still had the hots for me. *wide grin*
Almost immediately, I heard his voice from the other end and he sounded so upbeat- ‘Damn you 5-4-6 for sounding so alluring’, but I was chirpy right back at him and trust me I sold it 😁😉 Only one problem though, I was overcome with curiosity… ‘Who are you with?’
I don’t particularly think any one person should know how much another cares for them, but I also advocate for honesty and wearing one’s heart on his sleeves – life is easier that way.
In this case, I know I am arming 5-4-6 with enough ammo to hurt me if he wanted to, but I know he wouldn’t do it (he doesn’t have the heart) and unsurprisingly, he is doing it even without trying.
I wish I didn’t feel the way I do, but I am unsure of how I could change it. My friend, Milk (remember her?), has just said ‘I know 3-4-6 will break your heart’ (not sure how though), but how do you break something that wasn’t whole to begin with?
What do I do? How do you stop loving the wrong person right?