Can’t Stand Me: How I Hated Hearing Myself

I’m a long way from where I used to be, thankfully. I used to be shy, at least that’s what I always assumed. I used to be scared, I always thought I was fat (even when I wasn’t although now I kind of am) and I used to detest hearing my voice even though I always wanted to sing like Beyoncé Knowles.

Born in the 80’s and growing up in the 90’s, I didn’t have many avenues to record myself so I would just belt out tunes as I danced to them and I pretty much didn’t care how I sounded in reality.

When I was 17 years old, the year I graduated from secondary school, (high school to some of you) I joined my local church band aka choir because of my love for music and my dream of singing. This was when I learned how to play the bass guitar (totally rad right? Hehehe) and also where and when I remember hearing my voice for the first time.

I cringed the first 100 times I heard my voice and I probably still do.
When given the microphone to sing, the fear of hearing myself would cause me to sing very low, without confidence. That was then. Now I can stand hearing myself as long as I’m the only one listening at that moment.
With lots of practice and self love I’ve gotten over most of the awkwardness.
I work in a radio station and every now and then I voice stuff so hearing myself takes me unawares sometimes, but now I’d say my voice and I are able to see eye to eye and I’m proud of myself.

Written in response to the Daily Prompt on ‘Can’t Stand Me’

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5 thoughts on “Can’t Stand Me: How I Hated Hearing Myself

  1. I did a dumb thing. Tapped the play button on the picture of the recorder you used at the beginning of your post. Tired.

    But hey, I’ve heard your voice. It’s amazing. I haven’t heard you sing though, but from the way you sound when you talk, I’m sure you’re singing will be even more amazing. And its totally rad that you play the guitar, still haven’t gotten over that.
    Keep the self-love strong, be less concerned about what people think about you; because in the end,all that matters is what YOU think.

    Just keep doing you. And you’ll be fine.

    My tired two cents sha.

    Liked by 1 person

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