Could it be that what I feared has come to be? I’d like to think not.
I whine to my friends and colleagues about needing a social life, but when faced with it I’d pick going home than getting all jazzed up for an event that may leave me feeling bored in the end.
With the time-consuming nature of my job (yes, it’s that draining), I’ve been able to not think so much about what I’m missing except when I see seemingly happy folks, my age, on Instagram or Facebook, having fun.
Despite how I might feel about needing activity and stuff, I do have a problem, but before that I have to take you through a story.
My colleague and friend, let’s call her ‘Milk’, says she doesn’t get how or why her man would call her up in the middle of the day just to know how she’s faring. If it is not a matter of life and death, don’t distract her (She considers it a mere distraction).
After working for a year, I’ve come to understand how annoying it is for someone to nag about you not calling (even guys nag too). I mean, when you are really working you don’t have time for anything else. Maybe periodically.
Let’s be clear though, I’m not as weird as Milk (Oh Yes! She’s weird). I appreciate the sentiment behind wanting to know how I’m doing, but not to the point where it becomes routine and boring.
Now to the first problem
.. the scales have fallen from my eyes and I’ve realised I’m not like milk at all.
I want all the mushiness and affection and checking up on me for no frigging reason.
The only reason why, I think you wouldn’t appreciate someone checking up on you randomly and intermittently is because you haven’t found someone you like. Period!
Back in University of Jos, my friends, Dele, Sendi and Charles, used to call me the ‘Attention Wh*¥re aka Attention Junkie’. I acknowledged it then, but I never owned the title even though I knew in my heart of hearts that sometimes I get restless, without attention, like a randy teenage boy.
The Main Problem
Someone was showing an interest in me and it was thrilling then suddenly, I jinxed it in my head with these thoughts;
1. I don’t know how to act around someone who likes me. There shouldn’t be a difference right? But short of being too formal I don’t want to come off like a blabbering idiot.
2. I suddenly want him to check up on me regularly. *runs and hides*
OMG! What has happened to me??
3. This isn’t the first suitor (Yes, I said suitor) I’ve had in recent times, but he gets me all hot and bothered. What do I do?
Note; it’s not love or anything deep like that, but I think I like him enough to want his attention.
Take this as me asking for some profound words of wisdom.
Milk thinks it won’t work at all, I agree with her to some extent, but my problem is that I don’t really know how to just ‘be’ around him.
The attention junkie has surfaced and I don’t know how to control her.