I was walking home from church yesterday and my mind, in its usual wanderings, perched upon a memory I would much rather never remember… Sometime in 2012 I posted an entry titled, ‘Euphoria’. Back then, I was in a state I’d never really been before… Now that I think back on it, it may not have been all it was decked out to be, but the fact that it was completely new and unexpected is probably where the appeal rested.
I wouldn’t want to go into any details, but the experience that inspired that post came to an end (Yes it did), left me broken and not for the reasons many would think.
My undoing was jumping in without holding on to reality, which is completely unlike me. Word for the wise… no matter how good it is, go in with your eyes open.
He wasn’t the sharpest needle in the stack or the prettiest flower in the garden, but he gave me something I ‘thought’ I needed…. Note to all, if you don’t trust yourself and pump up your self-confidence, someone will use that to his advantage.
When you make someone a focal point in your life, you are setting yourself up for more pain. It’s even worse when he realises the power he yields.
Another thing is, it wasn’t the act that hurt, but the betrayal of trust. Often times, that’s what hurts more than the deed itself. People don’t understand that lost trust can never be regained.
I’m most often a sceptic and this has worked for me in the past, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in the magic of certain parts of life, I’m sure my friends would back me up on that, but all I’m saying is that the moment you love yourself, anyone who wants to be a part of your life has to comply with your standards. #word
This new post is to debunk my earlier projection of Euphoria. I don’t need any one person to be happy. My mistake was thinking I was ‘euphoric’ because of someone who wasn’t worth his salt.
Happiness shouldn’t be based on a person’s presence in one’s life. As Thespians say, ‘The show must go on’.