Before getting admission into F.g.g.c. Langtang to commence my secondary education, the thought of schooling there was like a dream and now that I think about it I laugh at myself, but I don’t regret the decision. All my older female cousins went to school there so to me it was an ambition to get admission there too. When I finally did I felt like I’d died and gone to heaven.
Ironically, my first day in F.G.G.C Langtang was a complete nightmare that I’m not about to expand on at the moment, but another thing that was a nightmare was the level of poverty I noticed upon arrival. Keep in mind that I was just 11 years old at the time, but the level of my thinking… Scary.
The subjects I flooded my head with might have disturbed a psychiatrist or anyone that took the time to pick my brain. The level of poverty that I experienced hit me square in the face that I didn’t want to see anyone who wasn’t wearing our uniform. I got so withdrawn and so enraged at the universe. We were quite poor at the moment so it was shocking and sort of a rude awakening to realise that there were so many people that were worse than I could ever imagine at the time. You see, mum was struggling with three of us, but at least we weren’t starving, we had clothes to wear and we were privileged to get an education. I was even mad at God for giving me the little I enjoyed and leaving these kids without a proper childhood. The good thing is they were obviously content with what they had… Probably because they didn’t know any better. It got me so depressed that I would cry myself to sleep, weep whenever I found myself out of school and in town seeing kids who were supposed to be in school walk the streets, or just anytime I remembered the decay around me. Seeing them made me question if I deserved to be in school. I remember looking at a boy one day and wondering, “what if this boy is supposed to be the president of Nigeria in his time?”… That thought broke me.
In the end I had to accept where I found myself and just pray that I would be in a position to help kids like them someday. I consoled myself with the thought that destiny can be delayed, but not changed – God will be with them as he was with us.
“Que sera, sera” which is Portuguese/Spanish for “whatever will be, will be”.